THE MERM CHRISTMAS STORY
‘Tis the week before Christmas and all through the park
Not a creature is stirring. It’s gotten too dark.
The trees are all leafless, and the Ramble is bare
Bethesda is turned off, a toilet your wish?
If you must hydrate? Go elsewhere to piss.
No 5Ks, or 10, no ultras or halves
No sane person is out there, you’d have to be daft.
Neither rain nor sleet you may well have guessed
No sun or moon shines on Drive east or west
No taxis or cycles if it’s lightning or snow
Yet a Merm will be out there, perhaps even two.
Onto Delecourt Oval there comes such a clatter,
A wave of deep purple arrives with much chatter.
Lead on by our trainer, our coach, Julie’s spouse,
Neil prods, and he pushes, though we constantly grouse.
More rapid than eagles his students they came
And he whistles and shouts and calls us by name.
‘No stopping, no walking, or are you asleep?
More butt kicks, and fartlicks, pick up your damn feet
Skip up the West hillside, lope up to Cat Hill!
Hands under your armpits and quack like a duck?
Why should we do this, whatever the fuck!
Move it Shirley & Joan, Ilene & Roberta
What happened to Kathy & Barbra, & oh & who is Ina?
Faster Karen, both Susans, both Judy’s & Jun
Cindy’s lost once again; will she find us quite soon?
Please stop dragging your feet, Elyse, Patti, Louise
You must try to keep up with the pace if you please?
Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer & Vixen
There goes Susan R & O’Dell aha Linda Dixon
Our Joanie made news in the Times science section
She is either bionic or caused by natural selection
To Ms. Moffat, Ms. Worth and even Ms. Leonard,
If being a Merm is still your decision
Keep aging and aging, you’ll success at your mission.
Alexa, & Kim & Jane all are missin!
On Comet, On Cupid, on Donner & Blitzen
(Wait that’s the wrong poem)
Welcome back to our Pat from the world there at large
Was it worth leaving the city and being in charge?
Does your sense of direction need a course correction?
You must reminder…Erin isles to the NORTH… the Keys are still SOUTH
Aussies lean to the LEFT… and the French are always RIGHT!
So MERMS come in all sizes, all shapes you can bet
Merms only requirement is your age and the sweats
The group is eclectic, oddly strange and diverse
We’re all in the same boat for better or worse.
So with love and affection I present this small bit.
Yet if you dislike it, I say tough shit!
To all of the Merms, our friends and our loved ones
May the season bring health, great joy, & swift runs
Whether we all get together or oft out of sight
We wish Seasons Greetings to all and to all a good night.
December 3, 2006 Back